I like speaking before groups of people even though it terrifies me. I’ve written about my first experience as a street performing juggler before (and the fears I overcame to finally go before hundreds of people and do my thing).
When I train people at work, it’s never bothered me; it’s just when I become the center of attention and people depend on me to entertain or share something with them that I get that bit of stage fright that makes me think, “Will this be the time I finally vomit before a group or pass out before them?”
Maybe my shaking hand isn’t really prominent in this video, but I came very close to staying seated and not telling a story that night.
Something new happened when I recently gave a presentation about managing sequential content online to a WordPress group at the Art Institute in Dallas: I wasn’t terrified!
Battling Nerves
Make no mistake, I was nervous, but the only time during the hour-long presentation that I thought, “I’m gonna pass out!” was when I thought about how I wasn’t as nervous as I usually am when speaking to a large group of people. I became nervous because I wasn’t nervous!
And then I thought about how I was half an hour in and it would be silly to become flustered because I was sharing something I’m passionate about with people who really appreciated the presentation I put together.
Roller Coasters
When I was younger, I was terrified of roller coasters.
I took risks all the time doing things that could result in death (and that definitely resulted in injuries leaving scars I carry to this day), but the thought of getting on a roller coaster made me want to vomit. I chickened out when friends rode coasters at amusement parks; I made up excuses why I couldn’t ride.
Then one day a friend and his parents got me on my first coaster. (Warning: there’s a lot of swearing in this video, so it’s not safe for work.)
I loved it!
I loved roller coasters!
But every time I rode a new coaster, those fears creeped back in.
I’d watch people coming off as I waited in line, focusing on the people who didn’t seem to have as much fun. I considered turning back and leaving the line. When I got in the coaster car and secured the harness, I considered telling an attendant that I was recovering from an illness and needed to get off.
But the following rush was always great. Just like when I speak before a group, or when I write something new and release it into the wild.
The Excitement of Fear
I think I’d worry if I wasn’t at least a little nervous when starting a new writing project or getting up and talking to other people about writing.
I’ve long realized that it’s not the fear of being in front of others like many people have (I don’t mind being before large groups of people), but rather, wondering if what I’m sharing is worth it to the people giving up their time to read what I’ve written or listen to me speak.
I remember riding another roller coaster in the amusement park I used to visit as a kid. In line, there was a woman who was almost sobbing before her first ride. I told her how terrified I was of The Tidal Wave and all the other coasters in the park…but how I came to love them all. By chatting with her, she became more focused on the stories my friends and I shared with her–she stopped thinking about how terrified she was of the ride.
Like me, she loved the ride when it was all over; she wanted to go again.
Scary Things
I’ve always thought that it’s very important to do things that scare us a bit.
Maybe not terrify us, but when you do something scary and push yourself a bit, you find out that doing a bit more isn’t so difficult.
Over time, it becomes habit.
I hope everybody reading this does something that scares and excites them a little bit.
Whether it’s something at work or something with your writing, it’s the best way to remind yourself that you can do things you thought you could never do.
Every time I’m about to start working on a new sewing project, I have to battle similar fears. I almost talk myself out of it, I ask myself what I think I’m doing (I’m still new, so it’s like I’m trying to convince myself I’m trying something too hard), and when it comes to taking that first cut on that fabric? Ugh! I literally sweat buckets and have to struggle to keep from shaking. Once I get into cutting out the pieces of my fabric and work at pinning them together for sewing, I realize “hey, what was I so nervous about? This seems to be working!”
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to start on a new project without nerves of some sort.
I LOVE roller coasters! Always have. And “Love Rollercoaster” by the Ohio Players is one of my favorite songs, especially the “mysterious” scream. lol
Many activities I consider “commonplace,” others consider “dangerous.” I’m sure this is a deficiency on my part. XD
Thanks for the reminder to push ourselves. 🙂
Cynthia: If I charge right in, I’m usually good. It’s when I think about things that the fear creeps in. At the recent presentation, I made sure I didn’t think about what I was about to do. So when I was introduced, I was nervous–but not pass out or vomit nervous.
Obviously, the more a person does something, the easier it gets…but I think people who strive for more than just mediocre success, even if it’s just speaking to a small group, tend to worry a bit more because they’re shooting for as close to perfection as possible.
CMS,
When going down a big hill in the country, my wife is often subjected to me singing parts of “Love Rollercoaster” in my best Ethel Merman voice.
There!
My secret is out!
It’s definitely interesting finding out what some people find safe or common that others believe to be dangerous or scary. Obvious things, like skydiving, I get. (Although I can understand if it’s something you do frequently that it’s not something that’s seen as dangerous.)
Juggling fire or knives…it’s no different than juggling anything else to me, but it’s seen as dangerous by many. I’ve even met people who were scared by the thought of putting a passion, like writing, on the same level of importance [or even ahead] of their job.
What are some common things that you do that others see as dangerous?
Christopher, I think the biggest reason for my hesitation and nerves is to make sure I remembered everything before I cut — and potentially ruin — my fabric. The ol’ “measure twice, cut once” thing. I’d rather I did slow down before diving in… once I start getting cocky, I’m sure that’s when I’ll end up having to go buy more fabric. Ha! 😀
Cynthia,
One of the nice things about being a writer is it’s affordable and physically easy to fix mistakes (just cut or add).
If I were writing on a piece of fabric that cost $25/yard, I’d be nervous, too!
@Christopher Oh let’s see . . repeatedly swimming out past the rip current markers, even though the lifeguard called me in several times . . sticking my hand in a running garbage disposal or blender to facilitate the things being pulverized (know how far to go before stopping) . . walking alone in a big city at night, lost, and not sure I have enough money to get back on the subway more than once, (if I get lost again) that is, if I can even find the subway- no fear, just frustration . . one of the best times I’ve ever had (besides riding the roller coasters) was being swept out to sea in a 3-seater paddle-bike. I was laughing and gleeful, and still smiling when they sent a rescue boat and pulled us back in.
And here’s my “secret”- When our Comcast On Demand had free karaoke, my hubby (who would NOT ride a roller coaster even for $MIL) and I would do “Love Rollercoaster” as duet- I would sing the main part, and he would say the back-up interjections- and say them perfectly “straight,” like a robot. I would literally be doubled over crying with laughter! XD