Today at 8:00 p.m. is the end: 101 days without social media.
I made it.
I’d like to say it had a profound effect on me. In some ways, at least initially, it did. Then it was just a no-issue kind of thing I didn’t think about much. It was no longer, “I’m giving something up, and this is what I’m gaining”; it became, “Social what?”
I like aspects of social media, but inside a couple months, I realized I could never see it again and be absolutely fine with that.
But since I can now jump on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus to say, “Check out what happened when I gave up social media for 101 days,” I should probably write a bit more, huh?
A Quick Recap
On August 14, after reading about Monica Valentinelli’s experiences with a 100-Day Social Media Blackout, I toyed with the idea of a 30-day break. Discussions on my personal Facebook page led to me not only taking the challenge, but deciding to go 50 days. I started the break at 8:00 that evening.
Along the way, CM Stewart dared me to go 100 days. I decided to take the challenge and add a day, going 101 days without Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.
So, how’d it go?
At First…
At first I missed social media.
Like most people using social media, I check things on my computer at home and on my phone when I’m on the go. While I don’t have a single push notification set on my phone and probably never will, I still built up a not-so-healthy Pavlovian reaction to social media.
- Finish a block of writing? Do a social media sweep.
- Get home from a fun time out? Do a social media sweep.
- Lull in a visit? Do a social media sweep.
- At a conference? Instead of totally focusing on the speaker, do a social media sweep.
- Eating something cool? Take a photo, post it online, and do a social media sweep.
You get the picture.
Since I couldn’t take part in social media, I blogged about the break — anything for that connection.
Then Things Changed…
Mornings — particularly weekend mornings — are when I missed social media the most. It was a trigger: sit down at desk; check social media.
One morning I sat down and didn’t have that urge. When a week passed without the urge, it wasn’t profound — it was more like, “How ’bout that: I didn’t miss social media this week…” and moved on.
That’s when I realized what I gained by taking the break.
The Return of Focus
There was a time when writing and a few other things important to me were always on my mind. Without interruption, I looked at things in so many different ways that when I sat down to write, the words always flowed. When I started using Facebook and other social media sites more, that focus slipped away. Time I once spent sitting at my desk and focusing on ideas became, “Let me check Facebook.”
When I reached the end of a scene while writing, instead of continuing or thinking about other things that kept my focus on writing, I checked Twitter. That led to articles to read (or mark for reading later, which made it seem like I was always behind on things). By the time I returned to writing, I was thinking about other stuff or feeling like I had more to do than I did before opening Twitter.
Even though I close my Web browser and put my phone away when I write, I still checked Facebook, Twitter, and Google+ when I reached a stopping point. During my 101-day social media break, that stopped — and cool things happened.
What Was Gained
I enjoyed time with others even more. Sitting on the balcony while drinking coffee or tea with my wife, I left my phone inside. We didn’t interrupt that time by checking things online.
I read even more than usual, and didn’t feel the urge to check social media when I reached a stopping point.
I started a new novel earlier than planned, the words flowing when I wrote the opening. And they continue to flow in ways I never imagined. (I’m pleased with what I’m writing enough that I considered not going back to social media until I’m done with the first draft. Still not ruling that out.)
I returned to reading longer articles when I was online. Gone was the “too long; did not read” reaction. (Spreaking of tl;dr, I wonder how many people will read this entire entry.) With no access to social media, people weren’t sharing as many articles with me and then asking what I thought about them. I chose what I wanted to read and enjoyed taking my time. (My internal reading voice is back to the speed I use when reading things out loud, not the “hurrymustreadfastsomuchtodothatI’mnotenjoyingthisasmuchasIshould!” voice that comes when I feel bombarded by information.)
And that’s the thing…
The Noise
During the social media break, I didn’t see any talk about politics — for or against where I lean politically.
And I liked that.
A lot.
I didn’t see what people were listening to on Spotify, what games they played, or what their favorite sports team did. (Should you think I’m knocking those things, I’m quite fond of Spotify, I like Angry Birds and Cut the Rope, and I enjoy watching the Chicago Bears and Chicago Blackhawks when I have the time. I just don’t want a social network filling the social media feeds of my friends with all that information. It’s reached a point where some social networks do it automatically.)
No social “media gurus” following “a formula for success” they’d love to share with me; no Twitter feed packed with blocks of names of people I should follow (with no explanation why I should follow them) on Fridays.
I saw no online drama; I wasn’t asked to post something as my status for an hour in support of some cause I may or may not believe in.
I’ve always been good at filtering out all the noise in the world, but somewhere in the 101-day social media break I realized that’s not necessarily a skill I like being good at.
The last 101 days have been very quiet.
And I liked that.
I Didn’t Miss Out
When I started the social media break, I had some friends tell me they’d die without Facebook.
How could I go to a conference and not follow what’s happening on Twitter? (The answer: I’m at the conference — I know what’s going on, and furthermore, I’m not missing the things I once missed because I’m watching it through an iPhone screen.)
“You rank high on Google searches for ‘Google Plus for writers’; don’t you want to keep creating things on Google Plus to up your ranking?” (I wrote my Google Plus for Writers entry for a couple people I know — not in the hope it would rank high on Google. Admittedly, I will occasionally consider SEO when writing a headline, but I never write entries specifically for the sake of SEO. Write enough and guess what? Sometimes you’ll pull a high Google ranking.)
When I started the break, I did think about all the things I was missing.
But I didn’t die without Facebook; in fact, I got even more stuff done during the break. I thought when I went to Podcamp Dallas that I’d miss Twitter. (I didn’t.) I missed Google Plus for the people I follow there; not for the benefit to SEO.
What about Social Media Now?
This doesn’t mean I’m now against social media or that I don’t recognize that it goes both ways — because I do.
Do people need to see this photo I took of the kabobs at Cafe Elite?
Do people really need to know that I think the video below is the funniest thing on the Internet in months? (Should you think I’m being political, I’d laugh just as hard were it a candidate I support. This isn’t about politics; it’s about creativity and wordplay and how it all registers in the brain to me, and it never gets old!)
Do you need to see another video of me juggling to surf music?
Okay, so maybe some people do. And I’m with them.
The Good and the Bad
What I missed about social media during the break were the photos of what friends and acquaintances were up to. I missed people sharing things they saw, thought about, and knew others would like. I’m a sucker for short videos or just reading a quick entry about what a friend did while I was doing something else.
At its worst — for me — social media is a noisy distraction. At its best, though, it connects me to others I often can’t see in person.
There’s no denying social media’s appeal. I can’t tell you how many conversations with friends and family over the past 101 days began with an assumption that I knew what somebody was doing because it was discussed on a social network. People started saying, “So how ’bout so-and-so’s good news?” followed by, “That’s right, you probably don’t know about that…”
And they’re right, in most cases I didn’t.
So What Did I Miss?
I missed seeing photos and updates about what friends were up to while I wasn’t around…
I missed congratulating a friend of over 30 years on his completion of the Chicago marathon…
I missed congratulating several friends on the arrival of new children into their lives…
I missed staying in closer touch to friends in other states… (The greatest thing about social media for me is contact with friends in other places.)
I missed Dube Juggling wishing The Juggling Writer a happy second year on their Twitter feed…
I missed people mentioning that they liked Hell Comes with Wood Paneled Doors….
I missed a web of people and companies I find interesting sharing and discussing things — and taking part in those conversations…
I did miss social media. (At least many aspects of social media.)
So…What Now?
I’m back.
I was always more likely to reply to others than post and promote, but I may talk about what I’m doing a little more than I used to.
I will continue replying to others when I do check social networks.
I think that’s where the biggest change will occur: I don’t plan to check things as much. I won’t allow the Pavlovian effect to creep back. I plan to log out of networks so that reflex of just going there and it’s all open and ready remains a thing of the past. I may keep the Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus apps off my phone — not sure about that one, yet.
I may cut back on the people I follow. Even with Circles in Google Plus, Columns in TweetDeck, and whatever Facebook’s come up with to create groups, it still feels so…overwhelming to keep up with it all. I’m a better writer when I’m not surrounded by noise.
And writing comes first.
Really, I don’t know what I’ll do now that I’m returning to social media because I haven’t given it too much thought.
I have a feeling, as long as it stays that way, things will work out well…
I’m glad you’re back! I’ve missed you!
I agree about the noise. I still think about removing a lot of people I’m following — there is SO much, that I just don’t have time to read through it all. Things I wouldn’t mind reading in more detail I skim quicker, and there is a lot I don’t bother to read at all. Besides, I’m sure a lot of those people aren’t reading what I’m writing either. 🙂
I think you hit on something, Cynthia. Reciprocation. I tend to reply to others far more than I ever posted. And I posted things fairly often. And not that I “invest” in the things I do because I just do what I like in life, but I noticed a growing ME!:you ratio.
I started seeing more complaining than ever–about life, politics, and so many other things. It reached a point where I saw smaller people talking about big things happening to them, but barely anybody replied because they aren’t LOUD!!! And I saw a lot of LOUD!!! people just…complaining about stuff or proclaiming things almost as fact. It’s the main reason I took my break–I was tired of waking up to arguing and complaining and finally saying something to no reply.
I like sharing things. I like supporting others. I liked the days when I woke up and did a sweep through social networks and walked away feeling energized–not sapped. Like you, I realized I didn’t need to feel bad cutting my lists because so many of the people on them didn’t care about what I was up to.
The break also made me really realize the people who care. I not only continued hearing from people I know or have met online, but we had better discussions through email or in person. So I won’t feel bad cutting lists down, or even dropping some networks entirely.
The big thing I realized these past 101 days is how much of a distraction social media was for me. I don’t think that’s an inherent issue with social media; it’s my issue to deal with. For me, it was something I could do to make me feel busy instead of actually being busy.
These past 101 days, I’ve had no choice but to be busy. Instead of talking about things I wanted to do, I did them. For me, in many ways, social media is like talking about things I want to write. I don’t talk about things I want to write–I write them. I know if I talk about things I want to write, I’m less likely to actually complete them. Why put in that much effort when you can just run your friggin’ mouth?
When I found myself talking about things, but not following through on them, I knew it was time to take a break. The biggest thing I’ll need to watch is the social media sweep. Complete an action and check things online. I may try limiting checks to once a day, after I’ve done things, but I’m not sure I’m that disciplined.
Which is why, in the back of my mind, I still think, “Give it all up and just write, have fun, and blog…”
Hey Chris,
Glad to see you’re back. Missed reading your posts. Sounds like the 101 days did you some good and could probably do me some good as well. One of these days I’ll muster up the will power to kick it for a while too.
And thanks for the congrats…It means a lot …
Talk soon,
Chris
Interesting! I like to think I’m pretty disciplined, and I’ve got the excuse of a couple of other projects on the go, but haven’t been able to get focused on my 2nd novel at all, and now I’m wondering how much of that due to effects of social media you’ve observed.
Thanks for the reply, TJ. I think for me the challenge will now be how I use social networks. Right now, there’s a bit of excitement of being back in touch with friends in other states I haven’t heard from as much. So I’ve been catching up since jumping back last night. My excuse today is it’s a holiday and I’m usually distracted preparing for that anyway, so why not be in touch and finish catching up with others online? The interesting thing: my mind is still all about writing. Even with the return to social media, I’m still more excited about writing when I step away from the computer.
I crave hours away from social media now that I know I can do without it. As long as that focus remains, I think I’ve found my happy medium.
Good luck getting moving on your second novel. Try even a week-long break from social media if you think it would help. For me, it took a month (really, two months) to reach the point where I stopped thinking about it and having that old focus return. But inside the first week, I saw that I made the right decision with the break.
Hey Christopher
I have been thinking about this quit a bit lately. I am finding socially we (people in general) are no longer committing to the moment due to social media or texting. We are too busy hanging out on FB or texting people who are not physically where we are instead of enjoy the people surrounding us at the moment. Let’s face it, it is rude. We are so worried about what is going on where we are not that we are no longer present in our own lives. I commend you for what you did and am trying to find a way to get my writing done and not just sit on fb instead. One thing that I am considering that is not related to the writing is I am thinking of taking fb off my phone.
Chris: The most I’ve ever run is 4 miles, so 26.2 seems wild. I’ve walked and hiked close to 20 miles in a day, but running a marathon seems absolutely wild. Definitely a big accomplishment!
Chris,
Reading your blog about leaving social media out of your life for 101 days was very insightful. The only social network I really follow is Face Book, and feel that if you follow one you have a good idea as to the rest. The noise aspect really hit me and I can absolutely relate with that. How we tune our personal filters to process the information we prefer is dynamically human and has always fascinated me. There are days I feel like I could care less about the streams posted on FB, then there are days where it is very impactful on me. I believe you are correct and spot-on regarding the increase in clarity from being unplugged. I very well may adopt some of these lessons learned to unplug while at work or during times where my personal engagement is important. Thanks for being the test subject with what I consider a very intriguing experiment. Great Blog Chris!
Thanks for commenting, Amy. I agree with you. One night while Cynthia and I were visiting my mom, we joked about how we were all on our phones instead of actually visiting. In ways, I suppose it was a roundabout way of “visiting” with even more people, but it became this reflex thing when visiting: if there was a lull, out came the phones. After dinner? Out came the phones. When we all made a pact to keep the phones stashed, visits were better.
I’ve found that logging out of social networks on my phone helps. It’s sad in a way that the act of logging into an app seems like a hassle when there are bigger concerns in the world, but it keeps me from just pulling out the phone and having it all there automatically. I keep things logged in on my laptop. When I’m writing, everything gets closed up. But if I’m reading, watching TV, or just chatting and get the urge, I at least have to get up and go into the office to check.
Logging out and not having things available definitely helps me. I didn’t get as much writing as I usually do this morning, but that could just be the holiday. I’ll see how I do the rest of the long weekend.
Brent: Great hearing from you! In so many ways, Facebook is my favorite social network because it’s where I stay in touch with people I know in real life. I’ve known you for over 25 years, and there are a few people from up north I’ve known for over 30 years. For this reason alone, I love Facebook.
I’ve definitely taken a lot away from being in touch with people online; like you, some days I’m even more grateful than usual that I can be in touch with people I care about. The noise isn’t really something generated by people, but the way Facebook works. It’s so easy to share things that there are times something hits that people are into and it’s all you see for a day or a week.
The people I’m in touch with are are pretty positive people. I’ve had good conversations with you about things where we don’t see eye to eye and that’s cool. I think because it’s so convenient to stay in touch that I am drawn to social networks.
But I definitely got a lot out of the break; particularly where it comes to writing. I didn’t realize how much social networks and other things pulled my mind away from writing…even if I spent a couple hours in the morning writing. Once I started checking social networks and following interesting links and other things, my mind ended up on other things. Without that outlet, I found an intense focus return and remembered that I can juggle due to an obsessive focus. I can write, too, because of that focus. As a musician, I know you know that focus.
It was nice reconnecting with that quiet these 101 days. I missed that focus, and what I’m writing is the kind of writing I’ve dreamed of pulling off since I was in junior high and started thinking about writing in more serious ways. Now, for me, it’s a matter of finding that combination of focus and staying in touch with people because I really did miss that contact…often just the little things like wishing an old friend a happy 20th anniversary! 😉 May your next 20 years be even better!
I’m with Cynthia in that social media can be very overwhelming. One thing that I’ve done is I access my social media in a very different way. I use the Flipboard app on my iPad. Facebook, Twitter, and other social media are in one location. Flipboard converts the social media into a “magazine” like content and you are only allowed a certain number of sources you can add. This forces you to carefully select what content you want to consume. For me, Flipboard makes Twitter functional, it even displays the photos people link without you having to click through to see it. Due to the format I treat the social media differently, I consume it like I would a magazine, flipping and randomly selecting, yet you get all the functionality of the various social media.
Robert: Flipboard looks like yet another reason to get an iPad. I just checked out a video demo–it looks great.
I think how we interact with social media definitely affects how often and deep we go. When I have everything open and available all the time, I can justify the quick social media sweep that I now know isn’t quick. All those times can add up. Were it all presented in a format like a magazine, I think it would be much easier to check just once or twice a day. It’s a cool looking app that really seems to handle how overwhelming it can be. I agree with you and Cynthia that it can be overwhelming. I generally try not to cross post the same thing to different networks, so it becomes even more difficult to maintain.
The best thing about my break is realizing that keeping up isn’t as important as it seems. (At least for me.) I DID miss things during my 101-day break, but for what I gained I have to say it was worth it.
Interesting to read this, Chris. I’m happy that you gained so much from taking the break. I think you’ve also inspired some folks. It’s good to see you back, though. I missed you there, and yes, I do need to see the kebob pictures, the juggling videos and the hilarious Herman Cain stuff. 🙂
It’s very nice seeing what everybody’s up to and getting back to seeing some of the publishing links I’ve missed on Twitter. It was definitely an interesting 101 days.
Welcome back! 🙂
Glad to read your hiatus was an overall success.
And thank you for posting the photo of the kabobs- I really did need to see that. It reminds me I can eat at a vegan restaurant if I travel far enough. (One thing I miss about Twitter is your food photos, and your photos in general. I remember a re-tweet of your photo of a lime dish was my initial portal to your blog.)
That Cain video is the most sensible political ad I’ve ever seen. I’d totally support his run for the presidency in the universe where that ad is real.
And another great juggling video! Yippee!
Glad to see my comments are visible now. At least to me they’re visible. I’ve no idea if others can see them. lol
I’m glad you liked the kabobs photo. A woman at another table who wasn’t veg*n went on about how good they were. We were at Podcamp Dallas that day and planned to go to a Greek restaurant, but it just so happened that Cafe Elite was right there, so that’s where we ended up. Cynthia and I were glad we did.
The hiatus was nice, and I’m still figuring out where my balancing point for social media and other things now lies. I’m working on a blog entry about it for tomorrow.
And your replies…for some reason, they were flagged as spam. Which is weird because you should be recognized. Hopefully it’s fixed, now, but I’ll now be sure to check the spam comments folder just in case it’s eating people’s replies.
Welcome back, Chris! I do RSS sweeps only every couple weeks, and am paring back my social media. But instead of fasting, I’m limiting my time per day and creating super-focused circles that I can check very quickly for the people I most want to hear about in each platform. I’ve already done this for G+. Seems like a good compromise. Down with Pavlov! Up with true engagement!
Shelly: Thanks for the reply. Like you, I’m focusing more with social media. I suppose, in a way, I’m a bit “What’s in it for me?” now, but not in a promotional way; rather, “Do I walk away from that sweep of social media feeling better about things?”
One of the things I only really touched on with my entries about the break is the negativity. Not that people don’t have a right to complain about politics and other things online, but I don’t want to read it anymore. With the exception of recent years, depression is something I struggled with for most of my life, and I realized that it didn’t take much to drag me down. I’m there for people when they’re down, but I found myself logging into Facebook and quickly becoming tired of even politics I side with, all because of the manner in which it was shared.
After I write and then go to do my social media sweep, I want to feel ready for the day. So, like you, I’ve focused a lot more with what I’m letting through after the break, and enjoying the conversations with those more interested in using social media as a megaphone for their dislikes.