![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.christophergronlund.com\/blog\/tjw\/images\/snooki.jpg\" "\\"Snooki\\"")
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I know next to nothing about Snooki.<\/p>\n
I know there’s a show called Jersey Shore and that people watch it because it’s a supposed train wreck, full of ridiculous people being, well…ridiculous.<\/p>\n
I’m not a fan of fame for the sake of fame, but the main reason I have never watched the show is — I’ll admit — while I have my moments of refined taste, I also have a love for tacky things.<\/p>\n
I’m afraid, much like my life-long love of professional wrestling (which I admit is beyond ridiculous), I just might find myself eagerly awaiting the next exploits of those nutty, obnoxious people from Jersey.<\/p>\n
Outside of Snooki’s book deal being part of a bigger problem we face as a country (more people can probably name every winner of American Idol than the Vice President), I could care less.<\/p>\n
Last year, some writer friends were outraged when Snooki got her book deal.<\/p>\n
Not a non-fiction, “This is how much fake tan you can use before being compared to an original Oompa Loompa<\/a>,” deal, but a full-blown, “Even though I’ve only read two novels in my life, I’m gonna write one!” deal.<\/p>\n I’ve read excerpts<\/a> of Snooki’s book and they are laughably bad (although if somebody like Junot D\u00edaz wrote a line like, “Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla,<\/em>” we’d probably not be as critical; of course, it would probably make more sense than I imagine it does in Snooki’s book). (I have no idea what the line’s about, but taken out of context, it’s a line I almost wish I<\/em> had written!)<\/p>\n So Snooki, a person who has probably never hungered to be published like the rest of us, has a book out…<\/p>\n I’m not a fan of many blockbuster novelists. (And there are some blockbuster novelists I love.)<\/p>\n I’ve tried reading Nicolas Sparks, James Patterson, and even a Danielle Steele novel when I worked at a library and it was back behind the desk. When Bridges of Madison County<\/em> came out, I picked it up to see what the hype was all about; within the first 1\/8th of the tiny book, I put it back down.<\/p>\n But I’d never<\/em> begrudge any of these authors of their successes.<\/p>\n Nicolas Sparks wrote a handful of novels before his million dollar sale that came with the agreement [paraphrased], “You’re not that good, but the story has something — make these changes to the manuscript and we can maybe work something out.” Granted, the goal is to get better with those first few novels nobody sees, but still — he wrote more than most of us before we ever saw one of his books on a shelf.<\/p>\n Publishing is<\/em> a business, and if Stephenie Meyer has legions of fans willing to read her poorly-written stories about her emo vampires and buff werewolves, so be it. (To be fair, I put Twilight down, so maybe the writing got better.)<\/p>\n Traditionally, it’s been those very blockbusters that many of us dislike — even loathe in cases — that allow many of the writers we love the chance to be published.<\/p>\n “Crappy” writers making huge piles of cash make publishing houses a little more willing to take chances on writers who may not even break even on a $5,000 advance. Some big name writers cranking out trashy stories many scoff at, in a roundabout way, are responsible for the careers of more than a handful of writers who were eventually able to pay the bills exclusively through writing.<\/p>\n If a handful of crappy books brings in so much money that publishers can have breathing room for the books they truly love that barely break even, why complain?<\/p>\n Every year, I see publishing stories that infuriate writers. Sure, it can<\/em> be discouraging when somebody like Snooki “makes it,” while the rest of us look ahead to another<\/em> decade of\u00a0 busting our asses, striving to be better writers.<\/p>\n But do you really<\/em> think Snooki’s made it?<\/p>\n Does anybody really<\/em> think she’ll be anything more than a “where are they now,” spot on VH-1 in a decade, instead of a “star” on MTV right now?<\/p>\n We all have the right to be loud, pick our teeth in public, and desperately push our way into the spotlight, just like so many flash-in-the-pan celebrities who aren’t really celebrities.<\/p>\n But do you really want to do that?<\/p>\n Even more: do you really<\/em> think this is the first step of Snooki’s long career as an established novelist? (I’ll say this, if there’s a day Haruki Murakami and Snooki are up for the Nobel Prize in Literature and Snooki wins<\/em>, I’ll give up writing and start using spray on tan!)<\/p>\n I can name more than a few unsuccessful writers who were supposed to be big, like Snooki.<\/p>\n Okay, so I can’t…and that’s the point. They don’t last! Most writers given the kinds of deals that work the rest of us into a frenzy are one shots at best, never to be heard from again.<\/p>\n When everything you do relies on making a spectacle of yourself, the only people really<\/em> following your career (if it can even be called a career), are fickle individuals looking for the next wreck.<\/p>\n Once the next wreck comes along, you’re looking at sitting in a nail salon in Jersey in 20 years, talking about the time “I once wrote one of them book thingies!”<\/p>\nThis Isn’t New<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Staying Power<\/strong><\/h2>\n
Jealousy<\/strong><\/h2>\n